Theory about Rapists
71Why do men rape?
In my past life (so to speak) before I was a massage therapist, I was a counselor. I specialized in mental health, addictions and forensics. Over the years, I have worked with many sex offenders. One day I was doing an educational class for a group of about 40 inmates. I was telling them that all people, both men and women, have in their bodies, estrogen AND testosterone, only in varying amounts. Once I explained that estrogen is a hormone that is found in much higher concentrations in women and testosterone is a hormone found in higher concentrations in men. I received an unexpected result.
I first saw looks of disbelief and then looks of anger. I then heard things like, “I don’t have any of that Estrogen sh__ in me!” A large percentage of the men in the room were clearly upset. I didn’t know whether to laugh or to run. This experience along with a history of facilitating a number of small group therapy sessions and individual sessions with these individuals, I discerned that these men, especially the rapists had a definite hatred towards the feminine. In addition, I also saw fear. Not that they were afraid of women per say, but I believe they were afraid of their own feminine side.
Men obviously have estrogen in varying
degrees and no matter how macho they might want to see themselves. They also
inherently have desire for connection, perhaps enjoy aesthetics, have a desire to nurture
at times and perhaps even enjoy traditionally feminine hobbies. When not honored, these desires will force themselves to the surface, much to the chagrin of the rapist
Rape is a power and control crime rather than a sexual crime. Rapists desire to control their victims into submission and they tend not to see their victims as people.
MY THEORY: Rape is a symbolic gesture. The victim represents the feminine side of the rapist. The rapist is attempting to control that part of them selves. It gives them the illusion of an assurance that their feminine side is under complete control and they don’t have worry about exposing it unintentionally.
In rapes where the rapist is not able to perform (As happens periodically) Depending on the type of rapist, he may either get enraged and may savagely beat his victim or he may threaten the victim in that she had better get him hard. He sees it as HER shortcoming rather than a threat to his manhood.
Of course, having never been a man and the fact that I never raped a woman, I obviously don’t have that experience to back up my theory. I’d be interested to hear what some of my readers think.
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That is also a possibility. Why do most accounts from professionals say that rape is not about sex, but about power and control?
Hi Susanmarion. I think (just my personal opinion) that idea is a result of women who have an ideological ax to grind. They may be projecting their own feelings on to men generally.
Rape is far too common for just hatred of women to be the only cause. Not so many men hate women, but lots of guys are selfish jerks who will do whatever they want to whoever they want. If I get robbed at gunpoint, maybe it is because the robber hates me, but more likely it is because he just doesn't care about me, only about getting money. I rate below the money on his scale.
Good points. Perhaps my theory applies to a segment of the rapist population anyway.
It does explain violent and repeat rapists, I just doubt it explains everything. Human psychology isn't that linear.
I think like the theory of thieves and criminals that it is somewhat genetic, this too is a possibility. :(
I agree completely tmbridgeland. How do you mean Genetic, Claudin_Dayo? Born that way or learned from their families?
let us all try to reduce rapes.bt i dnt know how. young girls are always the victims.
Typically yes. I think self acceptance in both the rapists and the victims would go a long way towards prevention. When we are accepting of ourselves, we don't do things that compromise our safety so much and we understand that to hurt others we hurt ourselves on a deep level.
Susan, your Hubs are thought provoking and very interactive. Keep up the great work!!!
Thank you Michael. I really appreciate your support.
I do believe that some rapists must have extremely high levels of testosterone coupled with an upbringing where women were treated as someone that can be victimized. After puberty, the drug takes over and they lose their ability to rationaize like a regular human, similar to actions under the influence of alcohol, and they become an animalistic predator. And, because of their faulty early years they don't understand that their behavior is uncivilized.
That is a possibility, but I can say that due to an underactive thyroid, I got raging PMS one month. I did call in sick at my job as I worked with kids and I wasn't sure how I would handle things. I was able to control my impulses. I understood the irrational behaviors of women with PMS, but at the same time, I also understood that it can be controlled. I don't think that drugs or hormones are a valid excuse for bad or hurtful behavior. I could be wrong, just my opinion.
If anyone out there can help me ith this, what type of rapists does this to someone, mine was completely concsenual(most rapes are) that is how they get close to you in the first place, you are tricked, you think it is going tobe sex, when he got me alone he attacked me, getting on topand FORCING himself in me. then the humilation of the pulling on body parts, like pulling, but not too hard, just enough to make me feel terrible. most of the time these people cant be prosecuted because they know what they are doing. you can prove it, my attacker had a erection the whole time, so that mixes you up worse. they are violent and it was very heartbreaking for me. if anyone has a daughter, let them read the FBI profiles of rapists. i think mine was a POWER RAPIST, he turned out the lights so i could not see anything.
I'm so sorry you had to experience that. While all rapes are horrible, I think that the worst part is that feeling of being so totally helpless, powerless; Plus the head trips to which the perpetrator feeds. I agree, this guy knew what he was doing and you were not his first. If this occurred recently, I would file a complaint so it is on the record but first, there are state run crisis centers that you may go to for counseling, even if it is years after the rape. These people do nothing but counseling for rape and incest survivors so they tend to know what they are doing. They are great, non-judgmental and very helpful. Best part, it is free. Rape is not about sex, but about power, control and making the victim feel less than human. What happened to you was not completely consensual. You consented to sex, not forcible rape and humiliation.
I think there is a lot of hatred of women. I don't understand it because women are not usually aggressors. We're not people who go around causing trouble or picking fights. There is no one motivation behind rape. And, I'm not sure they need a motivation, as such. You can know someone for a long time before they brutally attack you one day. Rapists are not human beings. They look normal, but they aren't. They are Evil in human form. Evil doesn't really have a motivation. It's just Evil and that's what it does.
There are people who say there is no such thing as evil, but there is. I have seen it and experienced it. It is not just an abstract idea.
Interesting hub!
When it comes to theories such as why men rape, there are not definitive answers. I suggest finding a theory that makes it possible for the victim to move on and feel empowered in order to avoid similar situations in the future.
tmbridgeland Level 3 Commenter 19 months ago
You are surely right that many rapists are woman-haters first, and rape is the result, but I doubt that it explains all rape. Some people are simply narcissists, and they can't imagine that anything they do is wrong. For them, rape is fine because the sex feels good to them. They don't care about the woman as a human being.
The basic fact is that sex feels really good, and men will go through any mental gymnastics to justify getting more of it. It could be race hatred, nationalism, even politics. If the man can see the woman as less important then his own pleasure, he can rape. Pure hatred of women is only one cause.